Critical Film Condition

Richard Kelly is getting closer and closer to becoming a one-hit wonder. “Donnie Darko” was a brilliant movie that got a little bit of cult status because it was so complicated… But it still was a brilliant movie, with a good cast, very creative and well-developed story-arc, etc. “Southland Tales”… Not so sexy. I actually got bored and still have to see the second half when I’ve got nothing else to do on a rainy Sunday.

“The Box” seems interesting, but it already starts wrong by thinking that casting Cameron Diaz for a serious role is gutsy… It’s not and it is just stupid instead. Look at the size of that mouth, man… She is FUNNY, and should stay FUNNY. But let’s not be unfair with this movie:

Diaz and James Marsden play a couple without any cash, like any other, that receive an offer from a strange man… This man is Frank Langella… And that is how you cast someone. The offer is the following: he gives them a box with a button. Each time they press this button, they get a million bucks, but someone, somewhere on the planet, dies. Here’s to hoping that they cover every single aspect of the dillema that “people die all the time but would you like to be responsible for one of those deaths” yadayadayada.

I’m curious, but not excited.

Popularity: 2%

To make a long and totally constructed story short: Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) is a very ambitious and pushy editor at a New York publishing house. She manages to make her staff’s life a living hell, especially her smart assistant Andrew Paxton’s (Ryan Reynolds). When her Visa application is denied, she has to present an American fiancée in order avoid deportation to Canada and save her job. Not really easy for a single and grumpy professional with no life outside the office. This is where an obedient assistant comes in handy. With the immigrations office hot on her tracks, Margaret blackmails Andrew into marrying her in exchange for a promotion.

When they travel to Alaska to meet Andrews’s family, Margaret is welcomed with open arms despite the horror stories Andrew has been sharing about his boss. In secret, everyone is suspicious however, especially Grandma Annie (Betty White), who delivers one of the best opening lines ever: “Would you like to be referred to as Margaret or Satan’s Mistress as usual?”

Margaret and her Louboutin heels are a clear disconnect in Alaska. All the fresh air and nature, the hunky Alaskan shop owners/strippers, Andrews six-pack and the experience of an actual family life are getting to her. When Grandma Annie insists that Margaret and Andrew get married that weekend all hilarity ensues.

The plot is usually a negligible factor in RomComs and “The Proposal” is no exception. In fact it is a somewhat laughable excuse. But Director Anne Fletcher (“27 Dresses”, “Step Up”) and writer Pete Chiarelli manage to turn this into a very likeable comedy with a tag-team of two fantastic lead actors. Both Bullock and Reynolds are great at physical comedy, which makes even the weak chemistry forgivable. And they both look very yummy naked (Deathpool, hello!), although Sandra Bullock is a little too skinny for my taste.

Another great asset is “Golden Girl” Betty White as Grandma Annie, part hell-raiser, part Shaman, part babymaker-blanket provider. The cast is completed by Mary Steenburgen (Grace Paxton) and Craig T. Nelson (Joe Paxton).

Check out this clip from the folks at funnyordie.com:

Perfect summer date movie.

Popularity: 6%

This will be short and sweet since I want to leave the honors to Guddy and just cover the basics. He is the Michael Bay buff. And he will forever hate me because I touched Michael Bay at the “Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen” premiere party in Berlin on June 14th. I said: “Awesome movie”. He said: “Thank you very much”. Michael Bay that is, not Guddy. But I am confident that the two will cross paths at some point in their lives.

In “Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen” Michael Bay once again delivers an epic battle of material. Starscream has assumed command of the Decepticons, returns to earth and hijacks Megatron’s body from the US military. With the resurrection of Megatron looming above their heads and Decepticon reinforcements heading towards Earth, the Autobots are hastily trying to gather forces. But the US government is grossly misjudging the situation and orders the Autobots to leave the planet. In a desperate attempt to prevent the worst, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) must once again join forces with Optimus Prime to save humankind. Mayhem and a gargantuan battle ensue.

I have no idea how Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman managed to deliver “Star Trek”, “The Proposal” and this in 2009, along with Ehren Kruger who among other things wrote “The Ring” (1 and 2) and  “The Brothers Grimm”. I have to say that “Star Trek” is definitely the strongest and most elegant (for lack of a better word) of the three. They were losing steam hitting the home stretch.

The juxtaposition of action and comedy in “Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen” is at times difficult to say the least. Why, oh why, do some robots sound like Gangster Rappers and evil German doctors?

The comedy parts are as overdone as the action. With a whopping 147 minutes, it could have been shorter. Although Michael Bay mentioned that the version shown at the premiere in Berlin wasn’t the final one. I am curious to find out what will be changed.

But it is still an awesome movie. It’s as simple as that. The visuals are breathtaking. Heroes are heroes, complete with slomos and orchestral music (courtesy of Steve Jablonsky). Villains are villains, even hot Pretender robot babes.

Megan Fox look stunning, although almost all of hers shots are inserts.

The visuals are fantastic, as are camera and editing. The locations are exotic, among them Paris, Luxor and Giza in Egypt. And World Heritage Site Petra in Jordan (don’t be fooled, it’s not in Egypt!)

Prepare for a testosterone ruled, glossy world where men are heroes, women are hot and machines battle it out for themselves.

Popularity: 2%

I don’t care what you think about Roland Emmerich (personally, I don’t like 90% of his movies), but “2012″ looks massive. And in Emmerich terms (“Independence Day”, “The Day After Tomorrow”) that’s definitely sayin’ something. The movie deals with, well, the end of the world… And I don’t think it needs much more explanation than that.

Stars John Cusack, Danny Glover, Oliver Platt and a bunch of other known names. Even if it blows, the effects look amazing and it should provide an interesting take on the whole “how humanity deals with it” thing. His last movie to handle such a subject, “The Day After Tomorrow”, was actually one of his best, so yes, I’m looking forward to it.

Even if you don’t have the time to watch this now, just watch the firs few seconds to hear Emmerich say “Twoo Sausand Tvelve”… It’s worth it.

Popularity: 2%