| [xrr rating=2/10 label=Directing] |
| [xrr rating=4/10 label=Screenwriting] |
| [xrr rating=7/10 label=Photography] |
| [xrr rating=5/10 label=Editing] |
| [xrr rating=5/10 label=Effects] |
| [xrr rating=7/10 label=Sound] |
| [xrr rating=2/10 label=Acting] |
| [xrr rating=2/10 label=Music/Score] |
| [xrr rating=5/10 label=Coolness] |
| [xrr rating=0/10 label=Brainness] |
| [xrr rating=6/10 label=Funness] |
| [xrr rating=4/10 label=Overall] |
Oh, where do I begin? While “The Mummy” was an awesome update to a genre established in the modern era by the “Indiana Jones” franchise, its sequel was terrible, but did have some elements of the first movie that didn’t make me want a total refund for my ticket. In short, this new movie manages to eliminate these elements while maintaining what made the second movie so bad.
First of all, let me say a little something about Marial Bello, who replaces Rachel Weisz as Evelyn Carnahan (or O’Connel)… I loved Bello in “Payback” and “A History of Violence” and I believe that she is one of the great actresses of her generation… But the role of Evelyn belongs to Rachel Weisz… And Bello seems so out of place in this movie that it is just painful. I don’t think the acting in this movie is nearly as bad as its casting choices. The best new actors, to come to the series, are the ones who get the least screen time: Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are the only ones who seem to have been cast right, but Yeoh’s character is underused and Li is stuck under tons of make-up and special effects for 90% of the film. Meanwhile, Isabella Leong, who plays Yeoh’s daughter, gets a ton of screen-time to overact as a useless, uninteresting and ultimately forgettable character. Luke Ford, who plays Brendan Fraser’s and Maria Bello’s son, may bring something new to the franchise, BUT HE’S 12 YEARS YOUNGER THAN THEM!!!! The movie clearly sets him up to take over the franchise in a (please, no) future sequel, but he lacks everything that made his father Rick O’Connel cool in the first place. Yeah, what about Rick O’Connel?
Rick O’Connel, for those who haven’t seen “The Mummy”, was one bad-ass soldier who accidentally brought back Imhotep (THE mummy) from the dead and had to kick his ass back to the tomb. But he is such a wuss in this movie, it’s embarrassing. And since I’ve mentioned Imhotep… If Imhotep met Emperor Han (Jet Li) in a deathmatch, Han would be begging for mercy after the first round. Imhotep raised rivers, created sandstorms, consumed people’s souls… Han becomes a friggin’ three-headed dragon! Also, in talks of elegance, Imhotep was a passionate villain with a purpose, he killed for love. Han’s “raison d’etre” is his immortality… That makes him greedy, not dangerous.
But, while I’m relentlessly bashing away at this movie, I forget to mention that it is no surprise coming from Rob Cohen. I don’t HATE Rob, but his inconsistency keeps pushing to the bad rather than the good and my conclusion is that, every time he gets a big budget, he screws the pooch… TERRIBLY. “Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story”, while flawed, was an entertaining movie and a more than decent homage to the great Bruce Lee. “The Fast and The Furious” was good too. “XxX”, “Stealth” and now “The Mummy 3”, not so dandy and big budget efforts. This movie is so reliant on its less than great visual effects, and not only from what is evident in the movie, but from the interviews with Cohen himself, that’s what he wanted all along. He thought the effects were so awesome, he forgot he had a whole movie to make. Nearly all the wrong decisions that could be done were made here.
It’s not all bad, of course. The photography has its moments, the action is above average and again, while not nearly as threatening as Imhotep, Jet Lis Emperor Han, mainly due to Lis acting (Are you serious? YES, I AM) becomes a cool villain… So there is something to enjoy here… Just don’t expect to be flabbergasted by anything. It’s strictly for fans of the genre (not necessarily of the series).
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